Past Ghost
by CaptainRogersGirl0829
Summary: Steve Rogers is a trouble maker: he steals, he manipulates, he takes the easy way through life. But when an accident happens, he takes a look at what he's done in life and is determined to make his wrong doings right. And to do that he goes to the person he hurt the most, a women he had impregnated 6 months ago.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, here's a new story I'm trying out. This idea came to me while I was sleeping and so I thought I'd give it a try. If this story has a good reaction I'll continue to write it. (P.S- I have the next 6 chapters ready, I just need to know if you would like me to continue.) So please review, or favorite, or follow, or P.M. I'd really like to know if this is a good story. Thanks for reading!**

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><p><strong>SPOV<strong>

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I've never given much thought to how I would die.

I thought I had much more time than this. I tried to live my life to the fullest and be as wild as the wind. I tried to do everything I planned to do before I died. I never knew exactly when the time was going to be. When I was going to be gone, but I was hoping longer than this.

I'm a world between consciousness and unconsciousness. Between feeling pain and being completely numb. I don't know what happened and I don't understand what place I'm at, at the moment, but it's dark. Too dark. I always know where I'm at and the uncertainty I feel right now is foreign. It's so unfamiliar that I hate it.

I don't always know where I'm going in life, but I do know that I have to be prepared for whatever life throws at me. Which is why I'm the way I am. Ever since my parents died when I was 6 and my best friend James when I was 13, I've been on my own. I use to call him Bucky and he meant everything to me, he was like the brother I never had and I loved him so much. I thought we would be friends forever... until he left me years after my parent's death. Between dealing with my parents death and Bucky's, I never fully recovered from the pain and hurt. Due to this, my life took a turn for the worst.

I never meant for my life turn out this way. In shambles. I've always envied the life of children with their parents and each time I see a family together, smiling and laughing, I can't help, but turn to the drugs to help with my pain. They don't control me; I'm in control of the drugs going into my body. I'm not addicted and I don't do it often, only when the pain becomes unbearable. The drinking on the other hand only occurs at parties or at extreme time of need.

I didn't mean to turn out the way I did, and there are times where I regret it, but I can't change what happened to me in the past. Due to that, I see no reason to change.

That is... until my eyes were forced open and I saw myself in a new light. Saw the things I did. The horrible, awful way I lived. And saw the way others saw me. The parties I went to, the drinks I put into my system, my use language around certain people, but what hurt and affected me the most was the people I hurt in my time of pain. In my time where I turn to drugs and alcohol than take advantage of the people around me. It made my chest hurt and contract with the pain of my previous life. But what got me the most was the flashbacks. The flashbacks of pain, sorrow and loss. Especially when I see my parents die over and over again and I was there just to watch. I stood on the side lines as I watched my little self try to escape the burning house that killed my parents.

I was the only survivor.

_Little Steve woke up to the unpleasant smell of smoke and ash. His face immediately scrunches up in disgust and he pulls his blanket over his face as his eyes open. He searches his dark room for any indication of where the smell was coming from. When he saw nothing, he automatically assumed it was coming from his open window and his neighbors were having a BBQ. So, because it was making him light headed, 6 year old Steve Rogers jumped out of his car bed and races to his window. Just as he was about to close the window, his door is slammed open._

_Steve whirls around in time to find his father leaning against the doorway, a hand covering his mouth as he coughs harshly. "Steve!" He manages to gasp between coughs. When his coughing fit is over, he looks around the dark room until he finds Steve standing by the window, his head out the window. "Son, come here!" His father says ushering into the room and going straight for Steve._

"_Daddy," Steve says looking up at him, slightly scared when seeing the paleness of his father's face. "What's happening?"_

"_No time Steve, right now we have to get out of here."_

_Steve's fear heightens and he begins to shake. "Where's mama?"_

"_She's right outside that door, we have to go now Steve. Come on." His father reaches down and scoops his son up in his arms before racing outside Steve's bedroom. Steve's eyes widen when he sees the large fire beginning to leak out of the kitchen door. The smoke threatens to choke them and his father grabs the front of Steve's shirt, holding it up to cover Steve's face. "Hold this." He commands and Steve does as he's told. They spot Sarah Rogers standing right in the middle of the living room, waiting for them._

_As soon as they get close enough, Sarah grabs Steve from Joseph and presses her son's face against her shoulder. "Mama." Steve chokes out, sobbing._

"_It's okay baby, we're going to be okay. We have to get out of here though. Can you be brave for mommy and daddy?"_

_Steve answers sobbing harder. "I'm scared."_

"_I know you are, but we're going to be okay." Sarah comforts before turning to Joseph, tightening her hold on Steve. "Let's go!" Sarah and Joseph make sure to grab their wallets on the coffee table before heading towards the front door. The three almost make it. That is until their roof gives way and falls right in front of them. Joseph has to shove Sarah and Steve out of the way to prevent them from getting crushed from the wood._

"_The back door!" He automatically says helping his wife and son up from off the ground. But it's Steve's agonizing cry that stops them for a brief moment._

"_My arm! MY ARM!" Joseph looks down and sees Steve's arm had been burnt when him and Sarah fell to the floor._

"_Shit, come on! We'll tend to it outside!" Joseph leads Sarah and Steve to the back of the house entrance, but curses immediately when he realizes that he and Sarah wont make it through without getting extremely burnt. The entire back door had caught fire and there was no way out, except to run through it which would surely burn them. Near the top of the door there was a small section that still hadn't caught fire and that gave Sarah an idea._

_She brought Steve to eye level with him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "My love, I love you so much. Mommy and daddy always will."_

"_Sarah what are you-"_

"_I'm protecting him. We cant make it through, but he can. He's small enough to make it without getting burnt or killed." Tears streamed down Sarah's face as she came to a conclusion of what she had to do. To protect her son. "I love you so much Steve. You'll always be my boy."_

"_Mama!" Steve shouts scared._

"_Don't be scared. Just run. Run away from here and get help. Mommy and daddy will be okay."_

"_MAMA!" Steve shouts as Sarah tosses Steve through the small section. And the minute Steve's entire body passes it, it catches on fire._

There was no way for my mom and dad to get out. The fire was too thick that even if they pass it, they'd still would've died. Eventually the smoke got to them… they died before the entire house exploded.

Me? What did I do? I did what my mother said to. The minute I landed on the grass, I ran out. Out of the backyard and into the streets screaming for help. I was at the end of the street when I saw my childhood home explode. It knocked me off my feet and I was unconscious. Just like I am now. But this one feels different. It feels much lighter than the one when I was a child. Am I dying? I hope I am, it will make my life so much easier. I wish I had just died along with my parents, because I wouldn't have had to face the many years of loneliness and misery. The pain and suffering I had to go through to survive.

I have no friends, just acquaintances and I don't do anything, but hurt the people that care about me. That want to help me. God I can see it all now. The bad things I've done in my life. Some things that I did to survive and life. Things I regret.

"_Hey! Drop down to the ground and stay there. Don't look up, if you do, I'll shoot you."_

I had stole about 200 dollars in cash, a box of coronas and a pack of cigarettes

"_Get on the floor, NOW!"_

After that night, I ended up taking the man's wallet and his black Mercedes.

"_Shit the cops!"_

I had been caught and taken to jail. But the next day when the guards went to check on me, I was missing. I had escaped during the night with only killing 3 guards and injuring 20. Later that night I changed my appearances so no one would recognize me. Instead of my regular blonde hair and blue eyes, I dyed my hair jet black and wore brown contacts. I changed my style as well from my regular pimp boy clothes to a regular men's attire. No one has even taken a look in my direction since I disguised myself.

"_Age?"_

"_23."_

"_Name?"_

"_James__ Buchanan."_

In that same night, I had changed my last name, got a fake ID and snuck into 3 clubs. I was entirely wasted after that night and don't remember a thing. A 17 year old was passed as 25 year old fairly quickly due to my body structure and height.

"_Hello gorgeous, names James. Yours?"_

"_Romanoff, Natasha."_

"_Well Natasha, what do you say we go up to the room and have some fun together?"_

This was years later. I had gotten into yet another bar, but this time without a fake ID. I didn't need it, I over the age limit. Only that night... it changed the life of the women whom I had met. Natasha. After that night, I had been informed that I was a father. But I turned her down and walked away. From her and my 'so called' child. I didn't believe her, and still don't. That was 3 months ago.

Until maybe now…

Shit, what did I do! I wanted to scream at myself. What have I done with my life?!

Apparently nothing. Now this darkness was beginning to feel overwhelming. All I can see are the horrible things I've done. It's pure torture and if I could scream, I would. But the flashback that got me the most was the last one.

I still remember her; I haven't entirely forgotten her unlike so many others. She was different which is what I liked about her. I remember what she looked like. Red hair, plump lips, her green eyes, soft skin, petite body and a fiery personality which I really liked about her. In my mind she was perfect, but way too perfect for me. I'm damaged goods and way too far under to be fixed. I liked her, I genuinely liked her. Not as a person of interest, but as a really good friend.

Well when I was drunk, I thought of her as a partner, but when she left the next morning, I couldn't stop thinking of her. She was a nice girl and I liked her. I wanted to see her again, but I knew it would be too risky to get close. My cover could get blown and I don't want that to happen. If I do, then it's off to the slammer with me. So I kept my distance, up until she came back 2 weeks later giving me the biggest news of my life.

"I'm pregnant."

I thought she was joking so I laughed it off and pushed her out of my apartment. But when she came back the next day with a positive pregnant test I got angry at her. I don't know what for, but I was pissed. I didn't want a child and I accused her of putting this child on me when it was possibly some other guys. She slapped me. After that I told her if it was true, I wanted nothing to do with the child so she should just get out of my life because I sure as hell am not raising a child.

The look on her face when I shut the door… it breaks my heart to know I did that to her. Before I would've have turned a second glance in her direction, but now I realize what a horrible person I am. What have I done? I ruined that poor girl's life all because I was too drunk to keep it in my pants. I vaguely remember her telling me to stop, but I wouldn't listen. Throughout the night, she finally relented knowing that it was useless fighting against me. I was too strong for her so she just let me.

I cant believe myself…

Moments later, a small white, light enters my vision and I'm grateful for it. This darkness is overwhelming me and if I stay in here any longer, I'm going to go insane. I feel myself urging my body closer to the light. I want to embrace, to feel it and to see again. I don't know where I am, but I know from this light that I'm going to get out of it real soon.

I'm getting super close to the light and the minute I feel it on my face, it disappears and my eyes open.


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes shoot open and I gasp for much needed air for my hungry lungs. My chest hurts extremely badly while it feels like my lungs are squeezing together. As soon as air enters my body, they begin to loosen. Slowly, but continuously.

My eyes close again, but instead of being evolved in darkness again, light penetrates through my closed eyelids. I smile satisfaction. Good, that means I wont have to endure that horrible time again in the dark. I'm awake or, at least I think I am.

"Good, your awake. How are you feeling?" I hear someone says. Slowly turning my head I find a man standing beside my bed looking down at me over a clip board. Judging by the coat he's wearing I automatically know he's a doctor. I glance around the room; I'm in a hospital room. No wonder I feel nothing, they must be giving me the strong stuff. The man clears his throat and repeats his question when I don't give a reply. Slowly I turn back to look at him and stare up at him uncertainly. The man sighs, "My name is Dr. Reed Richards and I was the doctor for your surgery."

"M-My… sur-.. surgery?" I stutters hoarsely. Wow, my throat hurts like a bitch. What happened to me?

"Yes. Do you remember what happened to you Mr. Buchanan?" I shake my head no. What did happen to me? Was it so bad that I actually needed surgery? Slowly I begin to sit up from my bed, but Dr. Reed protests. "That's not a great idea. You lost a lot of blood, you need to lie down." The doctor grabs my shoulder and gently lowers me to the bed

"W-What… *coughs* hap- pened to me?" I ask, my hand rises to grab my dry throat.

Before I know it, a glass of cold water is held up to my lips. Glancing up I find the doctor handing it to me. "Drink." He instructs.

He doesn't have to tell me twice. I chug the whole thing in four gulps and man does that feel good on my throat! I give out a loud moan of satisfaction. That felt wonderful. Now I can actually speak. Clearing my throat, I peer up at him curiously. "What happened?"

"You were in a car crash. Got banged up pretty bad and flat lined on us three times, but we were able to revive you." Dr. Reed replies going through his charts. "You have three broken ribs, a broken leg and a bruised wrist. You went into a coma when we were operating on you, haven't woken up until now."

"How long have I been out?" Steve asks concerned.

"About a month." Damn! My eyes grow wide. That long! Shit. "You were very lucky to have lived. With what you went through, it was a miracle you survived."

"Yeah, yeah." I reply not paying attention. I was too busy trying to remember what I was thinking about just before waking up. Oh yeah, the flashbacks. And her. Natasha.

I've got to find her, have to apologize. For everything. And to make what I've done in the past right. I have to fix things. After seeing what monster I was helped me realize my path of destruction. I want to change that, for me. I want to help others now and the only way to do that is to fix my mistakes.

Starting with Natasha.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but I have to fix it. I just hope she gives me another chance which is highly unlikely, but I'll still be there for her even when she pushes me away. I'll keep coming back until she actually orders me out of her life. Tells me to leave her alone and to never see her again. Then I will.

I just have to find her. Try and make things right.

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**2 Months Later…**

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Finally! I have the correct address.

I've been searching ever since they released me from that dreaded hospital 3 weeks ago. And so far I've been to 5 wrong houses in search of Natasha. No one was much help with my research and I even went to a close acquaintance of mine, Tony. He was one of the people that I partied most with before my accident. He knew almost everyone there was to know, and recognized Natasha's name. Just not where she is. The last time he saw her was the night with me which was exactly 6 months ago now.

It took me a while, but I now have the correct address. I had to go to the hospital to find it. I went in and checked to see if Natasha had come in for an appointment at one point. I don't know. Don't pregnant women come in once in a while to check the kid? As you can tell, I'm not medically skilled with this type of thing and have no knowledge of pregnancies or children.

Fortunately she did, and she had an ultrasound recently. The day I was released from the hospital was her latest. I use the excuse of being her brother in order to obtain her information. It was fairly easy after I flashed the nurse my signature smile.

2460 Barrel Oak Street, Rm # D4, Complex 3.

After taking an elevator ride upstairs, I rummage through my head of what I'm going to say. I haven't see her in 5 months and last time I saw her, I told her to fuck off and leave me alone. I'm scared of her reaction to my being there. Will it be good? Will it be bad? Will she actually let me help her? Will she allow me to make this wrong doing right?

But do I really have what it takes to be a father? And what if she has a boyfriend? Who will be the father; me or him? Most likely him, I doubt she'll want me near the baby when it's born. I can at least try and make the rest of her pregnancy easy then and when she gives birth leave. Besides I'm not cut out to be a dad.

Look at me, I'm 25. I lost my virginity at 14, been drinking and doing drugs since I was 13, got into clubs when I was 16, went to jail at 17 and I've hurt people. I'm definitely not cut out to be a dad.

I don't want to ruin the child's life. I just want to see him one time before I leave. I'm leaving New York and I'm not coming back, ever. So might as fix this problem before it will be too late to fix. It's already too late, but at least I can still help a little.

Shit… I didn't realize I walked out of the elevator and now stood in front of a door. The door with the number D4.

Biting my bottom lip I debate on whether I should knock or leave. Maybe I should just leave her be. I think she's handling well if she's still going to doctors appointments and what not. Besides this is a beautiful neighborhood and I'm sure she'll be fine. Even if she may or may not have a boyfriend or husband.

Stop it Rogers! You can do this. Just knock, maybe she wont recognize you. If she doesn't, introduce yourself and start new. Pretend you're not the father of her baby and say you're a friend of Steve's. If she asks, Steve died in a car accident.

But what is she recognizes me? Well, we'll have to find out. Do it, do it, do it! Before you chicken out! Do it!

Without knowing it, I adjust the crutches under my right arm pit and hold it there while my hand rises to knock on the door. Shit! I did it!

My eyes widen and I turn to leave, but when I hear the door behind me open I stop in my tracks. "Hello, can I help you?" Huh? Is that a guy's voice? Curiosity getting the better of me, I turn around and come face to face with a man. About 4 inches shorter than me, dark brown, curly hair and eyes. The guy was in a blue button up shirt and black slacks with leather black shoes. I feel very under dressed compared to him with my ripped jeans, faded white shirt and my old black sneakers. I guess I must have been staring because the guy clears his throat, raising an eyebrow at me as he repeats his question. "Can I help you?"

I blink several times, diverting my eyes from him. "Sorry." I apologize looking down at the paper in my hand. "Does a Natasha Romanoff live here?"

"Who's asking?" The guy asks.

Before I could say anything I hear a female voice from inside the apartment. "Bruce who is that?"

I stiffen… I recognize her voice. It's the same, it's never changed. Bruce notices me stiffen and moves out of the way when a hand lands on his shoulder. There she is… Natasha Romanoff.

The women I haven't seen in months, the women who before looked as skinny as a twig, but now looks like she's carrying a beach ball under her shirt. A small beach ball. She's not as big as I expected her to be. I pull my eyes away from her before I continue to stare at her like I did with that guy- Bruce, I think she said?- I'm not sure.

Natasha looks up at me, still as short as ever and froze. The minute her eyes land on my face, her body stiffens and her hand on the door handle tightens until I see her knuckles turn white. Bruce becomes worried, but I don't. Because I know why she's acting this way. "Natasha? What's wrong? Are you in pain? Is it the baby?" He asks concern, his hand landing on her shoulder. But Natasha doesn't move and neither do I. I allow her continue staring at me while I take in her appearance now.

I understand what people mean when women are pregnant. They do glow. She's glowing all over the place. Her red hair is straight as opposed to the last time I saw it, it was curly. Her green eyes pierce my body as they roam over me, her body still stiff. Her body, despite the enlargement of her abdomen, hasn't changed. It's still petite, her hips had gotten larger along with her breast and she was still short.

She's exactly how I remembered her, ignoring the largeness of her belly. Does she remember me?

…

"…S-Steve?" She stutters, her voice shaking slightly. I'm not sure if she's scared, angry or anything because right now her face is blank with emotions.

But I know one thing for sure… she remembers me.


	3. Chapter 3

**NPOV**

Oh my god… Steve?

What the hell is he doing here!? Why is he even here? You know what, I don't care. I don't want him here. He broke my heart and left me all alone with nothing, but this baby. Now it's time to return the favor.

Steve smiles down at me shyly, "Hi Natasha."

"Wait a minute," Bruce butts in looking between us. "This is Steve?"

I look over at my boyfriend of 2 years and nod. He's known about what I did 6 months. He knows how this baby was conceived and he knows it's not his. And Bruce surprised me. Instead of leaving me, he stayed with me and exploited some well kept secrets as well. The night I told him I pregnant, I also told him about Steve and what he did to me the day I told him I was pregnant. Bruce was pissed and vowed that he would never allow me to see Steve ever again. I was okay with the vow, because I know Steve was never coming near me again. He said so himself. He wanted nothing to do with me or this baby and that was the last time I saw him. Until now… what is he doing here?

Bruce suddenly gets angry and before I can stop him, he walks up to Steve and gets in his face. "So you're the guy that got my girlfriend pregnant and left her to fend for herself when it was your fault she's like this."

I need to stop him before… Steve loses his grip on the crutches he's holding and falls to the ground holding his nose after Bruce punches him. Damn it! Bruce goes to tower over Steve, but something possesses me to run in front of him and stop him before he can hit Steve again. I don't know why I'm protecting him, but I have a feeling it's because I want answers. And I cant get them if Steve is unconscious. "Stop!" I shout at Bruce before grabbing onto his wrist. "Don't hurt him."

"Natasha do you know who this is?" Bruce asks in disbelief and confusion. He's confused about why I'm protecting him, but I need answers.

"Yes," Unfortunately I do. "Just go inside, give me a minute. I need to talk to him." Bruce opens his mouth to protest, but I plant a kiss on his lips and push him towards the door. "Go, trust me."

Bruce frowns and after looking between Steve and I twice, he turns and walks back into the apartment. When the door closes, I turn to Steve and cross my arms across my chest as he sits up. His hand goes to his nose which I see is bleeding heavily, but I don't move. I continue to stare down at him until he looks up at me. "Thanks." He says with a lot of difficulty trying to stand. He searches around for crutches and his shoulders deflate when he sees the crutches have fallen to the other side of the hall. Far away from him. He sighs and uses the wall beside him to push himself up, but it takes him a while to actually stand.

Getting impatient, I walk over to his crutches, bend down and grab it. I then turn and hand it to him. "Thanks." He says again grabbing them and using them as leverage to actually get up. Putting the crutches under his arm, he breathes a sigh of relief when he gets weight off his leg- is it broken?- and looks up at me. He brushes the dirt off himself before continuing. "I really didn't want to fight him."

"Don't thank me." I reply coldly. "Beside you look like shit, I doubt you could've done anything. I should've let him punch your brains out. But I didn't only because I need something from you."

"What?" Steve asks.

"Answers."

"What kind of answers?" Steve inquires taking off his shirt and pressing it against his nose to stop the flow of blood. I open my mouth to tell him to stop since it's white, but he does it anyway so I stop myself.

Sighing, I step closer to him and glare up at him. "What are you doing here? Why did you come back? Don't you remember, you pushed me out of your life? You pushed me and this baby out of your life?"

Steve sighed and pulled the white shirt away from his face as he picks up a piece of paper from the ground. "I came back because… I was in a car accident three months ago." A car accident? What's that have to do with me?

"And…" I prompt him to continue.

Steve bites his bottom lip, "You might think I'm crazy, but please just hear me out. I really need you to listen to me and give me a chance."

"Why should I?" I scoff shaking my head. "You didn't give me a chance."

"I know, I'm sorry. It was a terrible mistake on my part… I just… I-I don't know what was wrong with me." Wait a minute… did he just apologize? The famous Steve Buchanan actually said I'm sorry. I've heard A LOT of stories about this guy and one thing was for sure… Steve doesn't admit to doing wrong and doesn't apology. He probably didn't mean it, so why am I wasting my time?

"Whatever, go away. I don't need you, we don't need you." I turn around, but Steve's voice stops me from opening the door.

"Natasha please! Hear me out! I'm trying here… I'm really trying. I'm desperate because I want to make things right."

Things right? I turn around to face him. He really does look desperate. I've never seen Steve look so heartbroken before. His face always has a smirk on it whenever I recall looking at him, or a mischievous glint in his eyes. But this look is sincere and desperate.

I sigh and nod my head. I'll listen, but it doesn't mean I forgive him for what he did to me. "Fine." I glance back at the room and debate on whether I should let him in. Steve really does look like shit and sweat begins trailing down his face as he continues to stand there. The exertion of standing up, and standing there, putting pressure on his broken leg had made him break into a sweat. He needs to sit down or he'll faint. Bruce wouldn't approve of this, but Steve is just about to give me answers of why he did what he did. Should I invite him in? Or should we just talk out here? But there's no chairs out here and my legs are killing me. And if my legs are, then his feel 10 times worse than mine. Besides I don't want anyone to see him here, they'll ask questions that I don't want to answer. It wont hurt anyone if Steve comes inside, well maybe Bruce, but I'll talk to him. "Come in." I tell him before opening the door and walking inside.

I hear Steve give a sigh of relief before the sound of crutches hitting the ground follow me inside. I lead Steve down the hallway and into the living room. I gesture for him to sit down, "Wait here. I have to do something real quick." Steve nods and takes a seat.

I turn and walk out of the room in search of Bruce.

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**SPOV**

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When Natasha disappears down the hallway I close my eyes and sigh in relief. She actually agreed to talk to me. Judging by her boyfriend's reaction to me, I know he doesn't like me and I had a feeling she'd let him punch the hell out of me. I would deserve it anyway, but I was mildly surprise when she stopped him.

I knew it wasn't for my benefit, it was more for her and Bruce, but still I appreciated it either way. The apartment is actually really nice. Not too decorated or too barren, but just right. It reminds me of my old house, before it got burned down. I still remember what it looked like, what everything looked like and… it seems like my mother decorated this place instead of Natasha.

It reminds me of home.

Running a hand across my face, I decide to start from the beginning and confess everything. Because I cant expect Natasha and Bruce to trust me if I'm not completely honest with them. I need to tell them why I started my life of destruction and what happened to my family. Because it will all lead to that night at the party with Natasha which therefore leads to this pregnancy. I also have to explain about the accident and why I came back. I came back to make peace and help.

Hopefully hearing my entire story, they'll at least consider letting me help. Nothing much, if Natasha ever needed help with anything I'd be there. To give her a ride, get her groceries, help with the nursery and if she needed someone to talk to I'd be there. Stuff like that. Then when she gives birth, I'll meet my child and leave. Forever. It will be easy to leave him or her behind because I'll know that they'll have a good life without me. Bruce and Natasha will make sure that they will and that it have a lot more love than I can ever possibly give. Like I've stated before, I'm not dad material.

I just hope this goes right because I do wanna fix this. After these couple months are over and I'm heading out of NY, I'll be finishing school and getting a job. And start a new stable life. Leaving my old life behind in NY because one thing is for sure… I'm not coming back.

Soon I hear bickering in the hallway. It must be Natasha and Bruce. They must be talking about me. Again, curiosity gets the better of me I stand off the couch and walk starts the wall. Despite my leg giving a cry of protest. I press myself again the wall and lean in to listen to what they're saying. I swear, curiosity will soon kill the cat. Me.

I can barely make out what they're saying, but when I lean in more I can clearly hear.

"What is he doing in here?" That was Bruce.

"I invited him inside. Bruce he has answers that Ineed and that maybe you'd want to consider hearing. He told me he'll us why he left and why he came back." Natasha explains.

"I don't care if he has answers about the damn sky being blue, he cant be here. He hurt you and I'm not going to let him hurt you again."

"Then come with me and listen to what he has to say. He wont hurt me if you're with me."

"No."

"Bruce-"

"No Natasha, I hate you being in the same room as him. Tell him to leave."

"If I do, we'll never know why he left. He said he's trying to make things right and I kind of believe him."

"You what!?" Bruce screams in disbelief. "WHY!?"

"Shush!" Natasha shushes. "Keep your voice down, he can hear you."

"I don't care if he can hear me!? Let that asshole hear me!"

"Bruce shut up! Listen to me, if his story is even remotely believable and true, and all the pieces of the puzzle come together, I'll believe him."

"Natasha you cant believe a single thing that comes out of that bastard's mouth." Bruce says exasperated.

"That bastard is the biological father of my child. No matter how much he hurt me, I need to make peace with him."

"Why?" Bruce asks sounding a little hurt. Probably from the beginning of Natasha's statement. But I'm confused as well. Why does she need to make peace with me? If anything, I need to make peace with her.

"Because if, by chance, he wants to be part of this baby's life, I cant stop him. If he wants to be the baby's father than I'll need to make peace with him now before the baby's born. He's the father and the father has just as much right as the mother." No chance in that happening. I just want to meet him or her and leave.

"Not necessarily, you have more power."

"I do, but I don't want this turning into some big deal where we have to go to court to settle this. I'd rather just let it be and have it done and over with. I'm doing this for my child Bruce, please let me."

"I'm scared for you're safety." Bruce admits. "I don't think I can."

"Steve wont hurt me. If he's as sincere as he sounds, then he wont risk hurting me or his child." Definitely not. I'm here to fix problems, not create more.

"I don't know Nat."

"Please… just trust me." Natasha asks dropping her voice to a whisper. "Please."

…

Bruce sighs, "Fine. But you are only allowed to be in the same room with him as long as I'm in the same room as you or Clint is. Understand? Also, he is not allowed to touch you unless you let him. If he does, he's done. Got it?"

"Thank you."

I soon hear footsteps begin to walk towards the room I'm in. Shoot! I rush back to the couch as fast as my broken leg will allow me and I have just sat down the minute Natasha and Bruce walk back into the room. I pretend to be inspecting the pictures on their dresser and look up at their arrival. Natasha and Bruce take a seat in the love seat across from me. Bruce glares at me while Natasha just stares at me with a blank expression. She nods for me to speak; I clear my throat and sit up. "Well… where should I begin?"

"The beginning." She says.

The beginning… Wow, this is going to open up some wounds. "Well, first of all you should know that my name is not Steve Buchanan, but Steve Rogers. My parents died when I was six in a fire and I was left alone. I had no other family except my brother. So he took me in… until he too died two weeks after I turned 13. After that I was completely alone, so I did my best to survive. Surviving forced me to do all the things I now regret today; stealing, manipulating and threatening. I took money, I broke into stores and got things I needed to survive with. If I didn't need it then I didn't take it. I've been alone since I was 13 and I've been on the run since I was 17. At 17 I was arrested for robbing a liquor store, but I escaped. After I escaped I changed my appearance." I gesture down to myself. "I'm not black haired and brown eyed. I'm actually blonde haired and blue eyed, but I changed my appearance to disguise myself."

"Why? So the police aren't after you, is that why you left?" Bruce spit out at him angrily. Natasha elbows him in the side shushing him.

She then nods for Steve to continue. "Actually I did it so that police would never find me. Years after I was arrested I went to the club. The Lucky Club. Where I met Natasha. Look Bruce, I'm truly sorry about doing that to you. I was drunk, I never meant for anything to happen." Bruce scoffs and shakes his head.

Natasha sends him a look, Bruce sighs, "I accept. I've done horrible things as well in the past. And I'd like to keep it in the past."

"Me as well." Steve admits. "Well when Natasha came to me with this shocking news… I-I was scared. And shocked. So I reacted the way I always acted, pushed it away so I wouldn't have to deal with my fear."

"How do you think I felt?" Natasha asks standing from the seat, with help from Bruce. "I'm the one who's pregnant. I'm the one whose life had to stop for 9 months for me to carry this child."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I wasn't grown up in a stable childhood. You were. You're way stronger than I am and you face your fears, not run away from them. That's all I've done since my parents died and I guess when you do things so many times, you don't know when to stop."

"What does this have to do with Natasha? Why did you come back after you pushed her out?" Bruce asks pulling Natasha back down onto the couch.

"As Natasha knows I was in a car accident three months ago and… I almost died. I flat lined 3 times and was in a coma for a month. While in that coma I saw flashbacks of what I've done with my life and I realized what a… monster I had become. Ever since I was born my parents wanted nothing, but good for me and here I am partying, stealing and getting hit by cars just to survive. I had done everything my parents would disapprove of and when I woke up I vowed to myself that I fix myself and my life. I would make my wrongs, rights and fix the things I fucked up. And then…" I look straight into Natasha's eyes. "you came into my mind and what you said. Then I knew from that moment I had to find you, to fix my mistake and help you. So I searched for you, sorry it took me so long to find you."

"You looked for me?" Natasha asks slightly touched.

Steve nods solemnly looking down. "I'm sorry for what I did to you Natasha, I was just scared. Besides I'm not father material, as you can tell. I cant raise a child, I'd fuck up his life. You're better off on your own."

.

**NPOV**

.

I can see that Bruce has a snarky comment to say, but I interrupt before he ruins this moment. Now it all made sense to me. Steve's behavior was all because of his childhood and it was very understandable why he did what he did. Although it wasn't excusable, I can relate to Steve because both my parents died when I was young. But I did have other family members that took me in until I was a young adult. His best friend had died before he even 18, unlike myself.

I want to forgive him, I do, I just cant get what he said to me out of my head. "Steve… what are you trying to say? Do you not want to be a part of this baby's life?"

Steve shakes his head. "I'd rather he or she be raised by people that can love it the way I never could and raise it the way I was never raised. So I wanted to come back and help you with whatever you needed. I want to be a part of the pregnancy, but not the baby because I cant mess this pregnancy up as much as I can mess up a young innocents child's life. So it's for the best."

"What are you going to do after the pregnancy? When the baby's born?"

"I'm leaving. I just want to meet him or her, see what they look like than leave." Steve admits.

"Leave where?" I don't know why I'm asking him questions like this; I guess I'm just curious. Or I want to know where the father of my baby is going in case they ask about him. Or in case they find out Bruce isn't their real father and want to meet Steve. I need to be able to contact him. But he said he doesn't want a part of its life. I wouldn't know what to do when the baby asks about him. It will be so confusing.

Steve smiled as if he read my mind because he smiled at me and shook his head, "I'm leaving New York and I'm never coming back."

My shoulders deflate in disappointment. There goes my previous thought. Steve wont be here for the baby to see him. But where is he going? And why? "Why are you leaving and where are you going?"

Steve raises an eyebrow, before shrugging and sighing. "There's nothing for me here so why not? Besides I can start a new life elsewhere. I don't know where, but I'll figure it out when the time comes. But that's not the point… the point is, will you allow me to do this? Will you let me help you and make this right?"

.

**SPOV**

.

Natasha and Bruce glance at each other and he shakes his head no. My shoulders fall in defeat and I look down upset. It looks like Bruce is calling the shots. I sigh, and places my head in my hands.

Now I'm just waiting for Natasha to reply with a big fat No and order me out of her life, but what she says next surprises me and Bruce…

"I have a doctor's appointment this Friday and Bruce cant make it because he has to work. I could really use a ride."


End file.
